March 4, 2013
I have returned from spending two weeks at home in Vegas with my family and friends. Vacation time at the beginning, sandwiching in work in the middle and vacation time at the end.
My sweet sister was married to her sweetheart. It wasn't the first time for either of them at the "rodeo" we call marriage, but it was the first time I got to see my sister marry. So beautiful, so charming, so radiant...yes, I'm prejudiced towards her. Princess was the maid of honor...and I was the pack mule at the end of the ceremony/reception bringing gifts back to her home (just teasing Buffy).
I did some work meetings in the middle, and as the time wore down, Princess and I drove to Anaheim, CA to spend some time with some friends...yes Mickey and Minnie, and some friends we'd made 25 years ago. We had a blast seeing old friends and talking like we'd just parted ways about two days ago, and Princess and I got along in spite of the pending divorce...still not final yet.
I can truly say without guile that I'm the luckiest man in the world. A great and loving family, Audrey (passed), Rich, Christy, Bert, Russell, and Dad and Susan (Mom passed in 2008). And throw in Princess and her parents and I'm beyond the moon and stars blessed.
My road hasn't been easy over the past 2.5 almost three years, but I'm happy. She's happy. And it shows. Princess has lost well over 30 lbs exercising and dieting...she's catching up to my 40 lbs weight loss, and we are still good friends. She's an amazing person, so all you straight guys...go look her up and don't be afraid to dance with her and get to know the most wonderful, awe inspiring amazing woman on the planet. Princess.
J
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Tempis Fugit
Time....where does it go?! I remember as a child how long it took to drive from Henderson to Las Vegas and complaining and whining. Fast Forward, and I can click along at a good pace in my car, on foot or on bicycle...and also through life.
I started this blog to keep track of my Complex Life post divorce from my wife and accepting my sexual identity as a gay man. I haven't been very good at writing down my thoughts and my expectations for my life. Instead, I have relied on social media which for some reason has turned nasty over the past 4-8 years. Today, I took a break from Facebook to see how I could live without it. I still have instagram which I can control better and I like posting pictures better than writing posts only to be judged by my "friends". Here, I can control who gets to post comments, so I don't have to tolerate a lot of negativity.
With Time, it is precious! I'll come back and record more (now that I've recovered my password, getting in should be so much easier).
Peace and Love to Everyone,
James
I started this blog to keep track of my Complex Life post divorce from my wife and accepting my sexual identity as a gay man. I haven't been very good at writing down my thoughts and my expectations for my life. Instead, I have relied on social media which for some reason has turned nasty over the past 4-8 years. Today, I took a break from Facebook to see how I could live without it. I still have instagram which I can control better and I like posting pictures better than writing posts only to be judged by my "friends". Here, I can control who gets to post comments, so I don't have to tolerate a lot of negativity.
With Time, it is precious! I'll come back and record more (now that I've recovered my password, getting in should be so much easier).
Peace and Love to Everyone,
James
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Fresh Start
Well, it's been 18 months since I wrote that first post. Here is a quick update on MCL
1) I received notice of a job change in July 2011
2) My soon-to-be ex moved back to our home city and is living with her parents
3) My job changed and I'm now living on the east coast
4) I'm living "alone" for the first time in my life
5) I'm shopping for furniture for the first time in my life...a style that I want/like
6) I've dropped about 30 LBS since January 2012
7) I've joined a gym to help me lose the weight
8) I'm healthy and happy and building a good relationship with myself.
9) I've had sex twice in the last six months (really good sex too)
10) I'm loving My Complex Life
Since moving to the east coast, I've learned how to drink a little alcohol, no I don't over do it, but I have found that I enjoy how it makes me feel. Relaxed and liberated. I've met some wonderful men on line who I've become great friends with, and others who I would just like get naked with and F*ck all night long! HA!
I'm learning that I can say yes and I can say no to whatever I want to do with myself and also with another person. I've had some dates and I have enjoyed them immensely, some fun times hanging out with gay men, feeling comfortable with them and with myself. It's actually quite liberating to know that I am accountable to myself and God and not to another human.
I will continue to update this blog with my new adventures and hopefully some photos of my weight loss journey.
Cheers,
Jim
1) I received notice of a job change in July 2011
2) My soon-to-be ex moved back to our home city and is living with her parents
3) My job changed and I'm now living on the east coast
4) I'm living "alone" for the first time in my life
5) I'm shopping for furniture for the first time in my life...a style that I want/like
6) I've dropped about 30 LBS since January 2012
7) I've joined a gym to help me lose the weight
8) I'm healthy and happy and building a good relationship with myself.
9) I've had sex twice in the last six months (really good sex too)
10) I'm loving My Complex Life
Since moving to the east coast, I've learned how to drink a little alcohol, no I don't over do it, but I have found that I enjoy how it makes me feel. Relaxed and liberated. I've met some wonderful men on line who I've become great friends with, and others who I would just like get naked with and F*ck all night long! HA!
I'm learning that I can say yes and I can say no to whatever I want to do with myself and also with another person. I've had some dates and I have enjoyed them immensely, some fun times hanging out with gay men, feeling comfortable with them and with myself. It's actually quite liberating to know that I am accountable to myself and God and not to another human.
I will continue to update this blog with my new adventures and hopefully some photos of my weight loss journey.
Cheers,
Jim
Monday, December 27, 2010
The End is the Beginning
Hello World!
This is my first post on my new Blog, about me, my life (both past, present and a hopeful future), my adventures, and my dreams. Through this little page in the great WWW, I hope to capture bits and pieces of my life and share it with others.
As a beginning, I must state several things about My Complex Life (MCL for short).
First, I was born and raised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love this Church, I don't always agree with it and some of it's policies, especially towards the LGBT people of this world. I served a mission to South America, where I loved the people, the culture, and my time there.
Second, I'm currently married but separated (part of MCL). She is such a warm, caring, loving individual and you are going to ask yourself now; Why are you separated? See point three
Third, I am Gay! I have struggled my whole life as an LDS member to "control, suppress, and change" who I am! I cannot. I have accepted who I am fully, and after a lifetime, I'm working on loving myself fully. This of course is a huge part of MCL so far. It has been a burden that I have carried because of my love for Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father. I have accepted that I was created in His image, and that He created me, a Gay man.
Fourth, in accepting who I am, I have "come out" to my family, friends, co-workers, etc. I have found a group of beautiful gay friends who support and love me (oddly, I also am getting great love and support from many Church members, my family, and many friends) for who I am fully. I have met a wonderful man, he is kind, loving, warm, and caring too (I know, I've been blessed beyond measure). We are working through MCL at this point as my wife and I navigate divorce and liquidation of assets that we share.
Finally, for this post (I know are you wiping your brow and saying "whew" also?!), I am happy, truly happy and wholly happy for the first time in my life!
So there you have it, the beginnings of My Complex Life!
PJ
This is my first post on my new Blog, about me, my life (both past, present and a hopeful future), my adventures, and my dreams. Through this little page in the great WWW, I hope to capture bits and pieces of my life and share it with others.
As a beginning, I must state several things about My Complex Life (MCL for short).
First, I was born and raised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love this Church, I don't always agree with it and some of it's policies, especially towards the LGBT people of this world. I served a mission to South America, where I loved the people, the culture, and my time there.
Second, I'm currently married but separated (part of MCL). She is such a warm, caring, loving individual and you are going to ask yourself now; Why are you separated? See point three
Third, I am Gay! I have struggled my whole life as an LDS member to "control, suppress, and change" who I am! I cannot. I have accepted who I am fully, and after a lifetime, I'm working on loving myself fully. This of course is a huge part of MCL so far. It has been a burden that I have carried because of my love for Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father. I have accepted that I was created in His image, and that He created me, a Gay man.
Fourth, in accepting who I am, I have "come out" to my family, friends, co-workers, etc. I have found a group of beautiful gay friends who support and love me (oddly, I also am getting great love and support from many Church members, my family, and many friends) for who I am fully. I have met a wonderful man, he is kind, loving, warm, and caring too (I know, I've been blessed beyond measure). We are working through MCL at this point as my wife and I navigate divorce and liquidation of assets that we share.
Finally, for this post (I know are you wiping your brow and saying "whew" also?!), I am happy, truly happy and wholly happy for the first time in my life!
So there you have it, the beginnings of My Complex Life!
PJ
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